Am I codependent?

 

Having the courage to reflect is the first step towards healing.

Am I truly living freely, or am I still giving myself away to earn love, approval or peace?

 

Codependency isn’t a personality trait. It’s a survival pattern.

It develops in childhood, in an environment where safety, love or healthy boundaries were not a given.

You don’t lose yourself all at once, but little by little.

 

 

Why this self-assessment?

Many people who feel stuck in relationships, keep falling back into old patterns or struggle with emptiness, anxiety or exhaustion, have no idea that codependency might be at the root of it all.

They think they’re just being caring, or that they give ‘a little too much’. But beneath that behaviour, something deeper is often at play:

A nervous system still operating in survival mode.

A self-image shaped by adaptation.

And a deep longing for love, safety and recognition.

 

Do you recognise this?

•  You always take care of others, even when you’re running on empty
•  You feel responsible for other people’s moods or emotions
•  You appear strong, but deep down you often feel tired or hollow
•  You give so much, but don’t truly feel seen

 

This self-test is here to bring clarity.

Not through your mind, but through your heart.

There’s nothing to prove, only something long-held to feel.

Codependency Self-Test – 25 Questions

 

Answer the questions below with yes or no.

Be as honest with yourself as possible. This isn’t a performance, it’s a moment of recognition.

A first mirror to feel what may have been living inside you for some time.

 

This test includes 25 questions that touch on four key themes:

adaptation, emotional dependence, relationships and survival.

Set your mind aside for a moment and feel, openly and without judgement, what resonates.

 

 

• Do you tend to attune to others, even at the expense of yourself?
• Do you often adjust to the mood of your partner, family or friends to avoid conflict?
• Do you find it hard to say no, even when you really want to?
• Do you struggle to feel your own boundaries, or feel guilty when you try to express them?
• Do you notice you avoid conflict by silencing your own needs or emotions?
• Do you have a tendency to unconsciously control situations or people by adjusting your behaviour or words?
• Have you ever thought that if only you changed, the relationship would naturally improve?
• Do you find it difficult to feel what you need or want, apart from others?
• Do you feel empty or worthless when you're not receiving validation or approval from others?
• Do you struggle to receive compliments because deep down you don't believe you're worthy?
• Do you feel you only have value when you're doing something for someone else?
• Do you often feel like you're 'too much' or that you need to make yourself smaller?
• Do you feel you have to earn love by giving, caring or stepping into the background?
• Do you often attract partners who take up a lot of space or don’t respect your boundaries?
• Are you afraid people will leave you if you express your true feelings or needs?
• Do you stay too long in relationships that are unhealthy because the pain of letting go feels too great?
• Have you ever thought it was your fault when someone became angry, distant or emotionally unavailable?
• Do you often feel lonely, even when you're in a relationship or around others?
• Have you only recently realised (or through this test) that your patterns might be linked to codependency?
• Do you have a tendency to analyse your partner or others so you know exactly how to keep them happy?
• Do you feel restless or empty when you're alone, without the distraction of a relationship?
• Do you feel like you're 'too sensitive' or 'too emotional' in relationships?
• Do you recognise yourself in any of the following physical symptoms?
  • Always tired, even after sleep
  • Tension in your neck, jaw or shoulders
  • Hormonal imbalances or unexplained physical pain
• Do you tend to want to rescue or change others, even if it costs you your own wellbeing?
• Do you feel responsible for the happiness or emotions of others?

The more often you answered ‘yes’, the more likely it is that you’re living from a place of adaptation and survival.

But it doesn’t have to stay that way…

 

 

What do your answers reveal?

 

0–5 yes answers

You mostly live from your true self, with clear boundaries. Still, it’s helpful to stay aware of subtle patterns of adaptation.

Self-awareness is your strength.

 

6–10 yes answers

You show clear signs of codependent patterns. You may find it difficult to set boundaries, prioritise your own needs or practise consistent self-care.

Recovery is possible – and it begins with this awareness.

 

11–15 yes answers

There are strong indications that you’re still operating from old survival mechanisms.

What you feel is not weakness. It’s your system still scanning for safety.

And the fact that you’re reading this means change has already begun.

 

16 or more yes answers

Your nervous system is likely under chronic stress from constant adapting, scanning and pleasing.

This pattern runs deep – but it can be changed.

You don’t have to carry it all alone anymore.

You’re allowed to learn what it feels like to truly come home to yourself.

 

There are no right or wrong answers –

but there may be a truth that’s been waiting to be seen.

 

 

Are you ready to go beyond insight alone?

 

You don’t have to do it all on your own.

Healing begins with recognition, but it deepens through connection, guidance and a safe, supportive space.

 

Book a clarity call

If you’re ready to take yourself seriously and explore what kind of support might be right for you.