What Is a Predator?

A “predator” is not a mythical creature or an exaggerated label. It is a person who consciously or unconsciously feeds off the energy, attention or dependence of another person.

Often, their behaviour looks harmless or even charming on the surface, but with an underlying motive: to gain control over your inner world.

They often know exactly what you’re missing, where you’re vulnerable, and how to use that to bind you to them.

Are all predators narcissists?

Not necessarily. Some people manipulate from pain or as a survival strategy.

But narcissists, psychopathic personalities, and power-driven manipulators know exactly what they’re doing and what it takes for you to abandon yourself for them.

Why codependents (Unintentionally) fall for this

If you grew up in an unsafe or unpredictable environment, your nervous system has become accustomed to tension. The intense attention of a manipulator often feels familiar. Even if it is actually unsafe.

Most codependents aren’t seeking excitement, they’re seeking safety.

Yet they often end up in this dynamic because they were never taught to take their inner warning system seriously.

They rationalise what they feel. Doubt their intuition.  Or they think they have to “earn” love.

The red flags – Predatory behaviour

Predators rarely start with openly inappropriate behaviour.

Instead, they build a bond that feels fast, intense and “special”, but is actually focused on power.

10 signs of predatory behaviour:

• Overwhelming attention and promises (love bombing)
• Quick emotional connection: “us against the world”
• Your boundaries are subtly tested or ignored
• They suddenly withdraw without explanation
• You're made responsible for their emotions
• They twist your words or memories (gaslighting)
• They turn you against friends or family
• You feel guilty when you want to distance yourself
• They mirror your pain and dreams to gain trust
• Your body feels tension, but your head rationalises it

If you feel uncomfortable but can't explain why, trust that feeling. That is your intuition. And your nervous system. It warns you before your head understands what is happening.

The effect on you – Signs you’ve become a target

You don’t just recognise predatory behaviour by what they do, but by what changes within you.

Over time, you might notice:

• You feel drained after contact

• You start doubting your own perception

• You feel guilty for taking space

• You’re confused by mixed signals

• You depend on their approval or attention

• You slowly lose your own compass

• You sense something is wrong but have no ‘proof’

This is the moment to start trusting yourself and to choose protection, clarity, and recovery.

How predators operate

Predators rarely come at you head-on.

They test you.

Push your limits.

Play with your empathy.

And once they have your trust, they slowly turn the tables, until you’re the one who feels responsible for the connection, for their pain, for their behaviour.

How does this affect your system?

Predatory behaviour dysregulates your nervous system.

It activates fight, flight, or freeze responses, often without you even realising it.

You become hyper-alert, feel guilty quickly, and live in a state of inner stress or dissociation.

You learn to ignore your feelings and stretch your boundaries.

Over time, it affects your self-esteem.

Your confidence in others and in yourself crumbles.

You drift further away from your intuition, your inner truth, and ultimately from yourself.

What can you do?

• Trust your body. Insecurity is often felt before you understand it.

• Write down patterns of behaviour. Focus on what happens repeatedly, not on their words.

• Talk about it. You don’t have to carry it alone; sharing brings clarity.

• Rebuild your boundaries. You get to decide what’s okay and what isn’t.

• Be gentle with yourself. Ending up in this situation is not a weakness. It shows that you are looking for love, and that is deeply human.

Recovering from this dynamic requires more than just insight.

It requires a return to yourself, to your body, to your truth.

You are not weak. You once started surviving instead of feeling, but that doesn't mean you can't unlearn it.

You are not ‘too sensitive’. You learned to tune in perfectly to others, but now it’s time to tune back into yourself.

The power of a predator disappears the moment you stop measuring your worth by their approval. That is where your freedom begins.

Do you want to understand why your body holds on to what hurts and how you can break that pattern?

Then read this blog:

Why your body holds on to what hurts

Or discover here how healing really begins:

Why healing from codependency begins in your nervous system

Are you ready to work in depth on your boundaries, self-regulation and self-esteem?

My 1-on-1 programme and coaching will help you reconnect with yourself, see through your patterns and break through them.