The narcissist is always angry. Even when you don't see it

You might think the narcissist in your life is sometimes genuinely loving. That there are moments when they truly value you. That maybe, deep down, they do care. But the truth is, the anger is always there.

A narcissist can explode in a split second.

You walk into the room, and suddenly your presence is “too much.”

You say exactly what they wanted to hear and somehow it’s still “wrong.”

You do everything you can to avoid conflict and yet the conflict comes.

This is no accident. This is how a narcissist keeps control.

Unpredictability is their weapon.

Where you long for love, the narcissist craves power.

Where you seek connection, they seek control.

And the longer you stay in this dynamic, the more you lose yourself.

Why a codependent person does not feel boundaries (and the narcissist knows it)

A codependent is literally programmed not to feel their own boundaries.

If you grew up with a narcissistic parent or in an unsafe home, you learned:

• My feelings don’t matter

• If I’m nice enough, the other person will stay

• Setting boundaries means rejection

And here lies the danger:

A narcissist cannot function without boundaries, they need them to stop. But a codependent was never taught how to set them.

The result?

• The more you please, the more they walk over you

• The more you give in, the more they demand

• The more you hope for love, the harsher you are punished

The codependent is searching for love.

The narcissist is searching for control.

And this is why breaking free can feel almost impossible.

Narcissistic rage – Why it Always explodes

The rage of a narcissist is not ordinary anger. It is deep, toxic, and rooted in something far more destructive, emotional immaturity.

A narcissist doesn't develop emotionally beyond the level of a wounded inner child.

That anger resembles that of a frustrated child, but comes with the manipulative intelligence of an adult and the impact of an adult body.

That makes narcissistic anger extremely dangerous.
When a narcissist explodes, it's not because you did something wrong
It's because they have no control over their own emotions

And what does a codependent do when the other person is angry?

• Please them, believing it’s your job to fix it

• Reflect inward, wondering if you should have said it differently

• Hope it will get better if you just try harder

But the truth is, the narcissist doesn’t see it, and never will.

How narcissists twist your reality

Narcissists follow a disturbingly predictable pattern.
They manipulate your reality. They make you doubt yourself so deeply that you no longer trust your own feelings.

• They rewrite the story.
• They tell others you are the one who hurt them.
• They project their own flaws onto you – accusations like
• “You wear a mask” or “You’re the narcissist” are deliberate tactics to make you question yourself.
• They pull others into the dynamic – using triangulation to involve ex-partners, friends, or family to spark jealousy or rivalry.
• They promise the perfect future – keeping you hooked with false visions of a life together that will never come.

Every tactic has one purpose: to keep control over you.

Boundaries are the only solution, but not for the narcissist

If there is one thing that will keep a narcissist at bay, it is strong, firm boundaries.

Don't explain.
Don't hope for understanding.
Don't soften in the hope of love.

A codependent cannot do this by nature. But a narcissist needs it.

Which means one thing:

If you want to break free, you must do something that goes against your entire programming.

You must learn what boundaries feel like, how to set them, and how to protect them without being manipulated.

This is exactly what you learn in my 16-week Codependency Recovery Programme:

• Reset your nervous system so that your body no longer reacts out of fear.
• Feel and maintain boundaries without guilt.
• Break free from the illusion of “love” and reclaim your own power.

Your path to true freedom

Perhaps this blog feels confronting.

But know this:
You are not weak. You are programmed.

The first step to liberation? Recognising that this is not love.

Take the free self-test – Discover if codependency is shaping your relationships.

Read more – Learn how your nervous system and limbic brain keep you unconsciously trapped in these patterns.

Would you like personal guidance?

Discover my 16-week programme and recover from the inside out, returning to peace, boundaries and autonomy.

You are the key to your own freedom. And that freedom is within reach.